How not to talk to your daughter

Dad, what causes those horrible cold sores on your lips?

Well, while I was recovering from the flu, my resistance was down and the herpes simplex virus made them.

But isn’t  herpes an STD?

Well, yes herpes can be an STD.

So you have an STD, dad?

No, or course not!

But you just said that herpes was an STD.

Yeah, but this is a different type of herpes.

So do I have it?

Well, the herpes simplex virus is in everyone; it lies dormant and pops up when you get sick or really tired.  << NOTE:  Here is where I should have shut up! >>> Anyway, it’s not an STD and clearly isn’t as bad as the other types of STDs.

For instance?

Well, Syphilis is a nasty STD.  Did you know that Al Capone died from it in prison?

Huh?  What happens with that STD?

If you don’t treat it with drugs, your nose and lips will rot and fall off your face.

OH MY GOD!!!!  Will that happen to me?

Of course not!  You haven’t been sexually active, have you?

OF COURSE NOT!

Then you have nothing to worry about.

<<< I reckon that ought to keep her away from the boys for at least 9 months.  My score for this conversation: C-  Better luck next time, Dad! >>>

4 thoughts on “How not to talk to your daughter

  1. I would have loved to have heard this conversation……hilarious……you are a mess…..love you all….hope things are going well down under…..sd

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s