Dad, what causes those horrible cold sores on your lips?

Well, while I was recovering from the flu, my resistance was down and the herpes simplex virus made them.

But isn’t  herpes an STD?

Well, yes herpes can be an STD.

So you have an STD, dad?

No, or course not!

But you just said that herpes was an STD.

Yeah, but this is a different type of herpes.

So do I have it?

Well, the herpes simplex virus is in everyone; it lies dormant and pops up when you get sick or really tired.  << NOTE:  Here is where I should have shut up! >>> Anyway, it’s not an STD and clearly isn’t as bad as the other types of STDs.

For instance?

Well, Syphilis is a nasty STD.  Did you know that Al Capone died from it in prison?

Huh?  What happens with that STD?

If you don’t treat it with drugs, your nose and lips will rot and fall off your face.

OH MY GOD!!!!  Will that happen to me?

Of course not!  You haven’t been sexually active, have you?

OF COURSE NOT!

Then you have nothing to worry about.

<<< I reckon that ought to keep her away from the boys for at least 9 months.  My score for this conversation: C-  Better luck next time, Dad! >>>